Reflection

Okay, this isn't a light and cheery post, but something rather to reflect on. A sweet friend of mine lost her mom to cancer this weekend, and it just got me to reflecting on how I would like to live differently than I currently am. Actually, I'd been thinking about this already, but this death just echoed those feelings.

My friend's husband wrote this about his mother-in-law: "(Kristi's mom) was one to put herself on the back burner and all others before herself. She gave entirely of her time and body to everyone that needed help."

I am unsure of my friend's mom's salvation, but to put this in spiritual reference, am I Jesus' hands and feet? Do I reach out to those around me?

I actually have seen this specifically these past couple of days....

Last night a number of us were standing and chatting at a neighbor's place. So it was Kurt and me, then Neighbor A and Neighbor B - plus kids and spouses, etc. Then another neighbor (I'll call her Neighbor C) from a couple of blocks away came walking by, and I said hi and started a conversation with her. In the middle of this conversation, Neighbor A jumped in and asked if Neighbor C had met Neighbor B yet - at which time I felt like a complete heel because I should have known they hadn't met yet and graciously introduced them to each other. I am thankful for Neighbor A's insight to see how the conversation was not including Neighbor B, and to remedy the situation. And for me, I know how it feels to be the "new one" in town and how much it would mean for someone to introduce me to their friends. How could I be so selfish to not see this? To not be observant of the scene around me and take into consideration the feelings of Neighbor B? (Who, by the way, has been overly warm and welcoming to me!)

The other situation came about this afternoon. After church we decided to drive into a neighboring town for lunch, where we bumped into Kurt's parents at a restaurant. During the course of our meal, Kurt asked his mom if they had plans this afternoon, as he had this wild hair that he and I go see a movie. (It was a rough week for him last week at work, and then yesterday he worked hard all day on the house/yard. So having an afternoon "out" would be a nice and relaxing way to end his weekend.) This was not something we'd planned - just a very last minute idea. Well, Kurt's mom had just shared with me how they were planning to go to another town to run an errand yet later today, so I was aware there was something they'd planned to do. But what was his mom's answer when Kurt asked about watching our kids? Sure, they'd watch the kids. She could run that errand another time. (Note that she works full time, so this was not necessarily something "easy" to fit in at another time, except for weekends.) And actually, this happens quite frequently. His parents drop what they're doing to help out someone else. Even if it means their previous plans are put on hold.

So I ask myself... am I this way? Do I think of others and try to serve them? Sadly, a lot of the time my answer is no. I even see this with my own kids. Seriously, the phrase the kids probably hear the most from me is, "Just a minute", or "Hang on" - as they've just asked me to come help them with something, or to show me their latest Lego creation. Now there is a legitimate time when I'm in the middle of something and the kids need to learn patience while they wait. And obviously emergencies are times when I would drop what I was doing regardless of what it was. But far too many times I'm just being "inconvenienced" and would rather finish what I'm doing before tending to their desires.

To put this bluntly, I really don't feel like I'm a very generous, "others conscious" person. It just doesn't flow from me like I see it in others so second-nature-like. It's really something I have to make a point to do. (And to those of you who have this "generosity gene" already - you are blessing others far more than you know!!) So I guess my challenge is this - to be more deliberate in seeing the needs of other around me... to not hesitate to offer a helping hand at times when others are in need, or even just because... and to view this all in light of eternity. Does my own ________ (insert your own item here - such as "pile of laundry" or "yard work" or "messy closet") really mean more than ________ ("my neighbor's need to talk and share with me about her parenting struggles" or "a chance to spend the afternoon with a friend or relative")?

This whole "thinking of others" and the thought of how I use my time has just been on my heart lately. And I wanted to offer it up as something to think about today.