Mourning ... and Other Miscellaneous Things

So much has been going on for us, I thought I'd take some time to do a little catch-up. It's a hodge-podge of information, so I thought I'd start with the "heaviest" and end with the more fun, "lighter" things.

I suppose the thing that is on the forefront of my mind is my recent adventure in lumps, bumps and the "could this be cancer?" world. It's been a two month journey, with the past four weeks being the most "adventuresome". After a biopsy and lumpectomy, the final results came in last week, with everything coming back clear and no signs of cancer. Woohoo! We couldn't help but celebrate after our roller coaster, whirlwind few weeks. God is good!!

Stemming from those events, we now are faced with some daunting medical bills. And to be honest, I'm mourning. Actually, I'm struggling with a whole range of emotions. Yes, we budgeted and had set aside money for medical needs for this year, but not even close to what will be required. Top on the list of things to cross off our "need to buy this year" list is the one thing I have been so anxiously waiting to replace. Living room furniture. Oh yes, and a dishwasher. Granted, our wish list is long, but these two things have long surpassed their expiration dates. So here I sit. Crying over dashed dreams. Wrestling over these "things", when I know life is not about the "stuff". Going back and forth over feeling guilty about having these thoughts, when I should just be thankful I am healthy and we have a house to live in. Thankful Kurt even got a bonus this year, because if he hadn't, I hate to imagine how things would look. Yet on the other hand, feeling justified about my sadness, since God knows the desires of our hearts and as a wife and mom, these "things" are very much a part of me and an extension of my home, so yes, I can expect to be mourning the loss of these long-anticipated dreams. *sigh* I have no answers. I'm just starting to process all of this. Waiting for the rest of the bills to arrive so we can sit down and truly figure out how it's all going to pan out. It will all work out, we are confident in that. We just don't know how exactly that will look.

Mixed in with all of those emotions are some financial "regrets", if you will. Wondering, "Should I have gotten such and such?... Maybe we shouldn't have already gotten this and that". One thing I initially wondered if I should spend the money toward, but am now very glad I did, is my recent trip to Oregon. We were blessed financially a couple of different ways (half price airfare as well as an unexpected gift), so felt peace about the decision. And once there, I knew it was the right thing to do. Spending time with family and seeing friends I hadn't seen in nearly eight years really filled my emotional tank. While it was a fast and furious few days filled with lots of visiting, it really was an encouraging time for me. I came back home so very refreshed. Tired, but refreshed. (How is that for a dichotomy?!)

This next tidbit was just an interesting discovery from earlier this week. I found a post from a local acquaintance that just floored me. I could not believe she really bought into this. Here's what she said:

Would the Creator, with all the love, power and wisdom of the universe, make us all so different and then deem only one right way to get to His kingdom? I would think not. Who are we to decide which part of God is the best?

Wow. I knew that a majority of the people in our small town had slightly different beliefs than we did, but this is huge. And sad. Even though many claim to be Christians, it appears that there is quite the mission field, even here in the "religious" and conservative Midwest.

Some new things added to our schedule as of late include a new homegroup. Since we attend church out of town, we were encouraged to start a mid-week bible study with the other families in town who attend our church. So far it's just us and one other couple, but it's been so good to meet. We hash out spiritual questions and learn through various issues, but also have strengthened our friendship with each other.

Another thing on our plate is a community musical - the Wicked Wizard of Oz. I thoroughly enjoyed my time participating in Les Miserables two years ago, so was excited to join this next community theater performance. What's fun about this year is that our kids are involved, too! They are able to be Munchkins in the show, so have had their own songs to learn, and practices in the school theater, too. The show itself is in 7 weeks, so it will be very interesting to see and hear what the kids think of actually be part of the performance.

Speaking of the kids, there's a lot to share about them, too. They are growing and heading into a new "territory" - tween prepuberty, here we come! Ben, for one, is starting to eat us out of house and home. Well, it's not bad yet, but he always seems to be hungry. His snacks of choice are bananas, peanut butter sandwiches, and yogurt. Not necessarily all at the same time. Karis, too, is maturing and changing, and in need of lots of love and hugs and affirmation from mom and dad. It seems strange, but we feel she is actually maturing ahead of her brothers. She seems to be maturing early, even as girls go (at least it feels like it to us!), while the boys are later bloomers. So with those two combinations, she's 19 months younger in age, but ahead of them in emotional and physical maturity.

As we head into this new phase of parenting, I was more than happy to have been given some recommendations on various parenting books. I have those books onhand now and am excited to start reading!

Something else I recently discovered was a new website where the kids can practice their math facts. Karis, particularly, struggles a bit with her basic math facts. We've tried out this new system for a few days now, and while Karis does not like to do it, I know it will be really good for her and help her with her math in the longrun. Ben, on the other hand, loves the website and wants to do more and more practice tests just for the fun of it. It's kind of funny, because when I was his age, I loved to do extra math problems, too!

There are surely more things to post about, but this has already gotten rather long. Here's hoping for a greater amount of lighthearted information to pass along next time around.